7:56 p.m

"I need a life/girlfriend/iPod"

Hahahahahaha....Gareth, you kill me, that's going into a script somewhere.

Anyway, remember that meltdown that happened last post? It continued and intensified today. I don't know what triggered it, but during lunch I was just overwhelmed by this feeling of self-disgust. I started crying and I hate crying because everyone looks so goddamn ugly when they're all teary, so I hid behind my hair and tried to review some music technique...but, like the mood-swingy bipolar piece of shit that I am I started to feel all better about a half hour later...Jesus Christ!

You want to know what I think? I think I'm under a lot of stress. I think this whole applying-to-university thing is killing me. I think I have too much goddamn work (though I don't really want to do any of it and have so far done a good job of avoiding it)...I THINK I WORRY TOO FUCKING MUCH!

I also think I'm incredibly lonely. Holy shit, am I ever lonely. Sad, isn't it?

*Sigh*

Yours...