4:06 p.m.

How many curbs can I hit in one driving exam?

The answer, darlings, is two.

TWO!

That's right...I failed my driving exam but, if it's any consolation, I did it spectacularly. Let's take it step by step:

1) Backing out of the parking lot seemed pretty ok until I saw a car about to pass and braked too fast (Examiner's comment: "It's ok. Keep going."

2) About to turn out of reverse from backing out of parking lot, I'm about to hit a car. Examiner brakes. (Examiner's comment: "Ok, you were about to hit that car". Me: "Oops.")

3) Drive out to the exit of the parking lot, am told to turn right. Turned too soon, ran over curb. Confusing series of gear shifts. (Examiner's comment: "You know what? Just go straight.")

4) Went straight, told to go in a loop back into the parking lot. Go caught in wrong lane. (Examiner's comment: "*Points to right lane*)

5) Back in parking lot, told to drive into spot, hit the curb again. (Examiner's comment: "Don't forget to stop")

Total time: About five minutes.

Result: Fail

Comment on sheet: "Examination terminated due to safety concerns."

Personally, I blame my driving instruction, SVM, because I didn't realize I was so used to having him constantly resting on the brake until I tried accelerating on my own. I figured out that the gas is actually a lot more sensitive than I thought it was...not to mention the fact that I can't understand half the shit he's saying so I'm going to stop listening to him and start using some common sense.

Needless to say, I never got around to parking and junk. I guess I ought to be a bit more upset, but I'm not because I knew I wasn't going to pass and I knew I'd mess up, but I didn't know HOW BADLY I was going to do it. Actually, I'm kind of glad I messed up so royally 'cause I'd rather do it this way than fail because of some stupid little rule that doesn't really matter.

On the bright side, I am now an official danger on the road. No jokes, doesn't that sound cool?

Hoping not to fail next time though.

Yours...

D.I.F.G.