9:23 a.m

YAY FOR LONG WEEKENDS!

No school today, which means I have all day to do my homework (worse luck) and I have my final driving lesson (worse luck x2)...but that's ok 'cause school sucks anyhow.

Yeah, Friday really sucked bunnies. I'm being a total spazz about my mark on an English essay (80%! IN ENGLISH! WTF?) I know I sound like one of those really aggravating people who complain about an A- on something, but COME ON...ENGLISH for crying out loud. English is my best subject, I kick total ass in English, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FUCKING 90% MR. M???

Now, if this were, say, a Science class, I'd thank the Science gods for an eighty and do a tribute dance for the entire department, but seeing as it's in English (as I have reiterated far too many times), I'm rather pissed off.

Aside from that travesty, the thing that really brought down my Friday was the ever-looming presence of my sense of abandonment. Case in point: my friends have made it abundantly clear that the only time they ever want to see me is during school hours. Now, they didn't SAY this out loud, but it was so very clear. You see, I understand if they're busy with jobs or rehearsals or whatever, but if they're, say, meeting OTHER people, OTHER friends, then they schedule me around them. I have two best friends who have friends of their own and they would rather hang out with EACH OTHER or with their other friends, than hang out with me. I've told them before how it really sucks for me when I have to sit there and listen to them talk about people and things that I don't get, I've TOLD them how it made me feel left out. So what did they do? They sent me an email saying: "Oh, X, we're so, so, so sorry. I can't imagine how left out you've felt. I know you don't like us to say this often, but WE LOVE YOU and we want you to be happy." But then, they just kept doing it. They kept going out. They kept excluding me. THEY KEEP DOING IT EVERY FUCKING DAY. The only time I see them is during the lunch hour at school and all that ever happens is a) we bitch about school or b) they talk about other things and totally ignore me for 75 or so minutes.

So, I'm thinking perhaps it'd be best if I just...stopped caring. About everything. Caring about things ultimately leads to disappointment and with all the other crap you have to contend with, what's the point?

I-don't-give-a-fuckingly yours,

X

What I did today in no particular order: Later