10:06 p.m.

Ok, so I think my interview went fairly well. The interviewers weren't intimidating or anything, they were quite nice. Still don't know if I made it in, but I hope I did. However, what worries me more is that I will get in and suffer horribly for several months.

It was all in the waiting room. Some people make friends really easily and can socialize without having to go through a lot of trouble...but not me. I mean, I tried to squeeze into a conversation, but then I got shunted out pretty easily. Also, they had this thing that whenever someone was called into an interview, everyone in the room would applaud. No one applauded when I got called it. That hurt. I'm getting hurt quite a bit these days.

: _ (

That's a tear running down my face btw. Yeah, I'm so pathetic. I actually had a breakdown imagining the situation...that is to say, me in a class full of people who hate me. I mean, my current best friends are only my good friends 'cause they've known me for seven years...one of them even said she used to think I was a bitch until she realized that it was just my insanity that repelled people.

I started to really appreciate my friends. Yeah, they hurt me too and I complain about them a lot, but once they're gone, I'm going to miss them like crazy just 'cause I'm not going to talk to anybody for months if I get into the program. I remember when I changed schools in grade five...eight months of that school year was pure hell.

Can somebody tell me how to make friends?

Yours...