7:58 p.m

Oh man...today was just totally and completely...well, it's not going to be easily forgettable, that's for damn sure.

I found out that, at one point this year, one of my close friends was pregnant....and then she had a miscarriage. She didn't tell anybody but her ex-boyfriend, and she HAD to tell him 'cause it was his baby. Other than that, she kept totally silent. And she's one of my best-friends-but-not-really-anymore...she didn't tell me until today...and I am completely shaken.

She says it's ok now, of course, because there's no baby coming, which is good...but it really isn't comforting to know that someone that close to me almost had her life as she knew it completely ruined. I was literally shivering, thinking about it right after she told me, and I just wanted to cry thinking about how she went through it alone and she shouldn't have had to...I can't even explain this feeling right now, because I'm still shivering. This is out of my ball park, I can't even begin to think how she took it when she found out....she hid it really well, so I guess she's just a stronger person than I am.

I know I've said before that I'll have to move on...but this is my friend, you know, and she made a huge mistake and she almost had to sacrifice everything for it...she may have hurt me before, but I can't hate her for it because all the while she's been suffering in a way I can't possibly imagine. And nobody wants to see someone they love suffer.

Yours,

X