6:27 p.m.

I'm going to talk about the Oscars. How original of me.

Anyway, I didn't watch the whole thing 'cause I had to, you know, sleep and junk. Chris Rock did a fine job, not unlike the stale white-man jokes of Billy Crystal. It was pretty boring for the most part, but I'm fairly pleased with the results (RYAN won! GO CANADA!).

Poor Martin Scorcese though. Why he didn't win ages ago for Raging Bull is beyond me. But there's always next year.

Ugh, Béyoncé, GO AWAY! Honestly, nobody should sing a French song unless they're a) Francophone or b) at least a little competent about French pronunciation. She MASSACRED that song from Les Choristes. Yuck. And Antonio Banderas with his dirt-bag looks...not appealing. I mean, as an actor, the guy is fine, but his singing made me cringe.

I finally know who Chad Lowe is! All this time, I thought Chad Lowe was the guy from The West Wing. Turns out that's Rob Lowe. G'doing...I'm dumb.

Anyway, last night I wished I was at the post-Oscar party scene rather than in my boring house dreading boring school (which, was, btw, very boring).

10:15 p.m.

Everyone can just go suck as fuck, seriously. Reading other people's blogs depresses the hell out of me, especially those of people I see at school.

Anyway, a review:

THE ROCK sucked mondo wang. It was like every action cliche ever to exist was crammed in this really stupid movie. Yuck, yuck. Even Ed Harris couldn't save it. Hell, even Sean Connery's hilarious accent couldn't save it (my namesh Bond... Jamesh Bond...hahahaha). Sucked. So. Bad. Don't watch it unless you're really, really, really bored...then you can fall asleep during the really, REALLY, really stupid parts.

I'm so bored...I have all this work to do and I don't really want to do any of it. AND my nerves are completely shot with this whole university business...what if I don't get accepted? What the hell am I going to do? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

I'm thinking about telling some close personal contacts about this blog...then they might actually know what I think about them. Hahahahahahahahahaaaa...wutever. Maybe in June when I know I'm never going to see them again.

I'm such a bitch, I know.

Been having daydreams about being a wolf and tearing people to shreds...oddly satisfying, I think I'm becoming a lycanthrope (the disorder, not necessarily the whole being an actual werewolf thing).

Now I have to go translate Molière from fake French to real French. WooooOOOOooooo.

Smell ya later dawgs.

Yours...

P.S. I learned how to snap! WOOT TO THE MAX!

7:24 p.m.

I am an apple whore.

First, I said I only liked green apples. Then it was red. Then it was macintosh. Then it was yellow. I can't settle on an apple...then again, I don't like the taste of apples...it's kind of inconsequential to me how it tastes...I just like biting and chewing them. So, from now on, my favourite kind of apples are those that are crispy, but not so hard that it hurts to bite them, and that make that nice crunch sound, like stepping on dead leaves.

So pointless, but just, you know, FYI as if you really cared.

School was kind of dumb, as usual. Monsieur A., I am convinced, hates me and M. because we are such asshole teenagers to him. It's kind of hard to take him seriously because he's not that much older than us...and the fact that he can't get his history straight sometimes. I'm being hard on him, I know, but that's only because, as Gareth put so eloquently, "French is merde". Nothing against the language...just the class.

And M. was bothering the SHIT out of me today, Jesus effing Christ. My God, I just wanted to kick her in the shin today, she was like bitching all day long and blablablablablablablablablablabla. I mean, she's doing a whole whack load of theatre stuff outside of school, which she supposedly loves, but she still complains. It's like, she expects people to cut her slack because she's busy doing something SHE LOVES AND ADORES. And I told her "M., you're doing too much. No wonder you're freaking out." and she goes "Yeah, I know, but there's nothing I can do about it now.." Uh, yeah, except BITCH, BITCH, BITCH! FUCK! SHUT UP FOR A SEC AND BREATHE! I mean, she promises to do a whole bunch of things at the beginning of year, knowing full well that she's going to be busy at this time, she doesn't do a lot of the things she promises to do AND she blames it on other people. I mean, yeah, some of the things aren't her fault, but to just dish it out on other people like that without even ONCE taking responsibility like that? I felt like screaming "SUCK IT UP! It's going to happen a lot in life!"

Anyway, I guess the thing that really pisses me off about the above psychotic rant is that THAT is all I'm really good for: to vent. She spends all her social time with her boyfriend and uses me as a punching bag for all her excess baggage.

I need new friends.

Yours...

5:36 pm.

If it doesn't work, then I'm not trying anymore.

Today was total crap. I'm not going to talk about why 'cause then it's just going to make me insane.

I'm starting to really despise French. Mr. A. is competent and nice and everything, but the term 'tight ass' was invented for people like him (and no, this has nothing to do with his supposedly 'hot' ass, which people like DK like to advertise to anyone who will listen). THIS MAN IS INSANE! I bet it's the French in him. I mean, I understand standards, but refusing to correct something because your name is written in a different ink? That's pretty bloody picky if you ask me. And, crickey, all the work! All I'm saying is that my French had better be fucking amazing by the end of the semester.

Anyway, screenplay is finished but needs to be revised. D said she could get her friends to act. As far as I can tell, they're all rich, gorgeous, multi-talented freaks of nature, but that's only based on hearsay. I really want this movie to work out...so long as everything is done exactly the way I want it done.

Yours...

8:16 p.m.

So there. Now scream in terror and leave me alone.

Yours...

6:36 p.m.

I was seriously debating whether I ought to post this...but fine, whatever, you can barely see my face anyway.

C'est moi.

How's my Beatles' cut, Gareth? It's a little messy 'cause I haven't combed it in about two days.

I will regret this.

Yours...

4:59 pm.

I'm writing a screenplay because that's what I do instead of homework aside from writing in this blog (haha)...but I have a killer case of writer's block. Which sucks. But that's my original screenplay. I'm writing ANOTHER screenplay that's an adaptation of a short story by Roald Dahl made trippy with a bunch of characters from Alice in Wonderland I just threw in for shits and giggles. That's going ok, but AAAAAAAHHH! Damn you writer's block.

Oh, a rant about screenwriters I've been wanting to do for a long time. Is it just me, or does every budding screenwriter (especially those who are male) want to be Quentin Tarantino? I mean, yeah, I liked Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs and Kill Bill Vol. 2 wasn't bad, but there's only so much fast-talking, gun-toting, Royale-eating, let-the-n-word flying gangster movies one can take. (about that last one, why does Quentin Tarantino use the n-word so much? I mean, he's white, right, so do black people get offended by that? Just curious.) You know who is a good screenwriter? Alan Ball. 'American Beauty' is so well written. Kevin Smith is a funny man too...though, apparently, Jersey Girl sucked uber ass. Anyway, here is my list of the best screenwriters:

1. Alan Ball
2. Kevin Smith (excluding: Mallrats, Jersey Girl, J&SBSB)
3. Orson Welles
4. Christopher Nolan (BATMAN!!! I'm excited, but I hope it's more cool 'Batman Returns' than sucky 'Batman and Robin')
5. Richard Kelly (SEE DONNIE DARKO IF YOU HAVEN'T!)
6. Mario Puzo (for 'The Godfather' alone)
7. Whoever wrote 'Taxi Driver'
8. Alexander Payne (I haven't seen 'Sideways' but 'Election' is quality)
9. Jean-Pierre Jeunet (I'm sorry...I liked 'Amélie', I thought it was cute)
10. Guy Ritchie

I only put in Guy Ritchie 'cause I couldn't think of another one...for the record, the only thing I like from Guy Ritchie is 'Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels' (though it does smack of Tarantino-esque stylings)...and, for that matter, I wouldn't have put Guy Ritchie up there if it weren't for the fact that I like 'LS&2SB' A LOT. 'Snatch' was just LS&2SB II, only with American actors and that piece of shit thing he made with Madonna was, as mentionned, a piece of shit, but LS&2SB is, quite simply, an excellent, excellent piece of indie cinema with a kick ass soundtrack. So, that's why Mr. Madonna is up there. But give me time to think of a more worthy number 10.

Yours...

1:32 p.m.

Guys with sexy voices are sexy.

That's why I don't find that guy from Maroon 5 all that hot. His voice is too high when he sings.

Oh, and accents are sexy...but only certain types of accents.

This is such a pointless post. I'm going to start a bunch of fires and write about that next time.

Yours...

9:28 p.m.

I was going to type in this long entry...

but then I decided against it.

Yours...

10:25 p.m.

I am a horrible person. I don't think I need to explain why.

:(

Yours...

6:53 p.m.

THE MOST ROMANTIC MOVIE LINES EVER:

"I love you"
"Ditto."
-Ghost

"As you wish."
-The Princess Bride

"I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it."
-City of Angles

"Swoon. I'll catch you."
-The English Patient

"If I could measure the beauty of her eyes, I was born to look into them and know myself."
-Romeo and Juliet

"Make of our hands one hand. Make of our hearts one heart. Make of our vows one last vow. Only death will part us now."
-West Side Story

"When you realize you want to spend The rest of your life with somebody, You want the rest of your life To start as soon as possible."
-When Harry Met Sally

and of course...

"Hi, I'm Jay and this is my hetero lifemate Silent Bob."
-Dogma

Any more? Probably.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY CHUMPS!

Yours...

6:07 p.m.

I like Saturdays because it's the one day of the week where my laziness doesn't really get noticed.

I have to write my screenplay...D. says she's going to get a bunch of her friends to act because I mentionned I didn't really want to use people from our school. This could be a problem 'cause I already told DK I'd let her be 'Alice', but oh well...

I ate, like, 3lbs of carrots in the last half hour. I'm kinda stuffed. Urrrrgh...

DAILY SHOW IS SO AMAZING! I can't believe I haven't been following it. I mean, 22 Minutes is funny and so is Monday Report, but Daily Show is just so much more cutting. I've been following the link from Passions of the Chris's blog...funny stuff.

Very good song: Romeo had Juliette - Lou Reed

Velvet Underground kicks ass, I don't care what anyone says. 'Pale Blue Eyes' is the only song I can fall asleep to.

Valentine's Day is coming up...WHOOT TO THE MAX! Hahahahahahaaa...I don't get why everyone gets so bummed about it. I mean, it's only a morning holiday to me...by the end of the fourteenth, I'm gonna completely forget it's Valentine's anyway.

I'm very stupid because I only just realized they listed the time at the end of my entries...and they're the wrong time too. Maybe I ought to start giving my entries proper titles.

But maybe not.

Yours...

11:08 p.m.

Scary post yesterday. Whoa.

I want to see 'Sin City'...it looks super trippy.

Screenplay issues. Gah.

Meow.

Yours...

7:23 p.m.

Everybody was doubly annoying today. I can't explain it. I was sitting with M. and K. and I just wanted to smash their faces in with a rusty crowbar. Does that make me a bad person?

I think I'm going to put some money into stocks. I don't know how they work or what's involved, but it'd be pretty cool to go around saying "Oh, I must remember to check my stocks". Besides, seeing as I'm never going to get off my lazy ass and actually LOOK for a job, I might as well.

Philosophie is starting to sound like a lot of mumble-jumble bullshit to me. I mean, it was pretty interesting at first, but then the teacher started pissing me off.

"What is beauty?"
"It is truth."
"Ah, but what is truth?"
"It's what's real."
"Ah, but what is real?"
"It's..."

On and on and on and on and on we go, like that. It's not that I need concrete answers, it's just that if there is no answer, just say "OOP HAHA! NO ANSWER FOR YOU!" instead of ongoing endless looping crap!

Ugh.

Today was a pretty bad day. Well, not horrible, just very annoying. There's this rage that coursing through my head and I kept imagining very angry, violent thoughts. The crowbar thing for one, smashing all the windows in the school for another....I had this pretty inconsequential daydream about going up to a pregnant stranger and kicking her in the stomach, which caught me a little off guard. Maybe I'm going insane.

HULK SMASH! AAAAAH!

Yours...

11:06 p.m.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE THAT APPLIES!

Just got home from some major hedonistic revelling (by that, I mean a buffet dinner with my family...I'm WILD, baby!) Got lots of red pockets full of lots of money! God, what a fantastic holiday...I do nothing and I get money from everybody. What a super-duper amazing holiday.

MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!

Yeah, I'm shitting out greed right now, but that's ok. And before I sound too cheerful, I should point out that I didn't really enjoy the dinner 'cause buffets are, in my opinion, pretty gross. I mean, you have no idea how long that food has been sitting there and everybody comes around and breathes on it...ewww....I stuck to one plate and dessert (some snot-like pineapple cream pie) and drank my water silently.

Monsieur A. thinks I'm a retard. He didn't say anything outright, but, oh, I know the look. He comes up to me after class and says in his weird, Québecois French: "Literary Movements! It's interesting isn't it?" And I sort of smile and nod in an oh-shit-I-have-no-idea-what-to-say kind of way. He's really nice and all...but that class is going to kill me.

SCREENPLAY TIME! I have a super idea and the end result will be like the illegal love-child of Roald Dahl and Lewis Carroll, if that makes any sense which it doesn't.

MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!

Yours...

...with lots of money.

7:01 p.m.

So second semester started...my schedule is:

Non-traditional arts
Français Immersion
Philosophie: Questions et Théories
Lunch
Spare

Like, whoa...lots of French this semester.

Here's the deal with me and French: I can understand it, I can read it, I can speak it fairly well...I am just so scared shitless whenever I'm in an environment that requires me to use it that I end up acting like a sedated retard. Why? I guess it's my inferiority complex...scared of being stuck mid-sentence searching for the word while the people around me wear expressions akin to an audience at a David Lynch film.

Of course it doesn't help that my French teacher is actually competent this year and is an actual Francophone who can, you know, speak the language (unlike Ms. I'm-here-because-the-school-board-was-desperate like last year or Ms. Pilled-up-psycho from the year before.)

So...

Comment allons-nous résoudre ce dilemme? Aucune idée...mais j'ai la sensation qu'à la fin du semestre, je serai dans une grosse pile de merde.

Here
is another picture of moi. (I'm the one on top...naturally.)

Yours...

11:18 p.m.

FINALLY...a picture of
ME

Ain't I sexy?

Yours...

9:23 p.m.

Foods that I will not eat:

Mayonnaise, mushrooms and anything with mushrooms in it, pickles, pickled food, organs, sushi, mustard, relish, fresh tomatoes, raw meat, bananas.

Yours...

12:14 p.m.

Garden State...impressive movie.

"Don't tease me because of my hobbies, I don't tease you for being an asshole". ~> BRILLIANT!

I have a lot of movies I want to see...but I can't think of a lot of them at the moment.

Am currently reading Zadie Smith's The Autograph Man...I wanted to get White Teeth because I've been hearing good things about it, but stupid Chapters didn't have it, so I got this one instead. Not a bad book so far (though the New York Times would disagree)...

HARRY POTTER 6! COMING OUT JULY! I'M SO EXCITED!

...hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa...I'm such a nerd...but at least I'm not one of those Potter-ites who buy all the merchandise. My obsession is purely literary (except for the Gryffindor CD holder, but that doesn't count 'cause it was a birthday present).

Yours...