8:53 p.m

AAAAAAHHHH!!! I'm such a slut.

No, not really. I'm just a total spazz. I had a meltdown sometime during fourth...well, it's been a day of completely unorthodox behaviour today for me. It started when I realized I had come to school without wearing a bra and it just went downhill from there...

Yeah, that made no sense.

GEORGE BUSH IS AS SMART AS A DONKEY ON ANABOLIC STEROIDS!!!

Hahahahahahahahaaaaa....I'm so clever.

YA-OO-RRS...

11:24 a.m

meow

Yes, I'm quite the cat person, although I like dogs as well. You know what animal I HATE? Assholosaurus (Plurel: Assholosauri, Binomial Nomenclature: Assholis Annoyinguliticus ).

The assholosaurus likes to annoy the hell out of you with stupid questions and speaks really loudly when you're just two inches away and drives really slow in the ultra fast lane while people behind him (or her) are going insane...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHhhhh!

Yeah, my rant has nothing to do with the picture. Deepest apologies to Beatrix Potter.

Yours...

9:31 p.m

I've got two shit-shitty presentations tomorrow...I hate presentations...give me a test anyday, 'cause presentations SUCK TOTAL ASS!

Wish me luck.

Yours...

7:53 p.m

I stole this from somebody else's online journal (not on blogger)...I just thought it was a good bit of poetry.

Advanced aliens are astute,
and angles are acute.
As acclaimed as arias are,
angels are an avatar.

Bending beneath banality,
Babylon breaks bread before Baal.
Bored boys battle beyond borders,
but bellicose bastions break.

C... Can somebody give me a C?

Dominoes dangle, dizzy, dismayed.
Destined destruction delayed.
Do debutantes deserve derision?
Demigods dealt decadent division.

Einstein enables eternity,
Excluding Easter`s entreaty.
Education equals empowerment,
Enterprise evades easy enforcement.

feminine figures fade from fame,
fickleness feeds familiar flames.
fouled feathers feel fair,
felled firs fuel forest flair.

Ghosts generously gave,
genuinely greeted graves.
God`s Garden gently grew,
Grubs gnaw ghoulish goo.

And this is my entry:

Hungry horses hover high
Heavy-handed housemaids hide
Helium houses, however hued
Haven't had their headgears hewed

(yeah...hued...hewed...doesn't sound very good out loud)

Positions I through Z available. Apply within.

Yours...

9:21 p.m

I'm sitting here trying to translate Act III, Scene I of Hamlet out of the Shakespearean and into the Lenarian and I find myself overcome with pity for poor Ophelia...

The girl, she does nothing but love, love and love and all these people are just stepping on her. I mean, I understand people stepping on Hamlet, he's a whiny little bitch, but Ophelia never did anything wrong...I don't know why I'm mentioning this, I just think it's unfair that all this shit happens to her and she never does anything to deserve it.

I was thinking about S today, more than I usually do. I had given up my little crush on him a while ago because it was just too exhaustive being infatuated with a guy I barely talk to....this led me to wonder if anyone ever thinks of me when I'm not around. I know L does, or used to before I blocked him on my MSN, but he doesn't count anyway because he's a boring jerk who, despite being interested in dating me (apparently), still manages to flirt with my friend K (she tells me about his 'seven orgasm guarantee'...*shudder*)

School sucks total monkey balls...so much crap to do, so little of me wanting to do any of it.

I think I've got a bad case of the Mondays...

Yours...

11:34 a.m

I saw 'The Incredibles' yesterday with my cousins, sister and uncle (though he managed to sleep through most of it). It was very good and lot more violent that other Pixar stuff...I went into ecstasies when I figured out that Syndrome was voiced by Jason Lee who is the hottest non-Irish man in the world (though his voice might suggest otherwise)...I'd suffer through 'Heartbreakers' again just to watch him smile...*girlish giggle and sigh*

Yours....

9:50 p.m

Woke up with a pain in my teeth and nose...maybe it was because I've become prone to sleeping on my face...don't ask me how I manage to breathe and stuff...

Got surveyed today on the issue of swearing. I figured I started swearing around eight or nine, but didn't REALLY start swearing all-out, all-the-fucking-time until about grade ten...I guess I got a staggered start.

School was total crap today...I'm not too sure why, it just really sucked and I couldn't wait to leave...once I got home I felt so much better.

I'm really looking forward to Christmas. I leave in about three weeks, so I'm going to work my fucking ass off to get things out of the way. I'm also looking forward to Cabaret...it's going to be super cool this year (one guy's act is to kick himself in the head, which sounds like lots of giggles to me).

School totally ruins Shakespeare. Only in a twelfth-grade English class can a story about murder, death, and insanity be so completely shit-boring.

Yours...

6:58 p.m

Ok...so what's new in my life? Honestly, nothing. School sucks, the play sucks, CLERKS RULES!, am now reading St. Urbain's Horseman by Mordecai Richler....aside from that, absolutely nothing. So...more song lyrics:

Yellow Submarine -The Beatles

In the town where I was born
Lived a man who sailed to sea
And he told us of his life
In the land of submarines

So we sailed up to the sun
Till we found the sea of green
And we lived beneath the waves
In our yellow submarine

We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

And our friends are all on board
Many more of them live next door
And the band begins to play

We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

As we live a life of ease
Everyone of us has all we need
Sky of blue and sea of green
In our yellow submarine.

We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

11:06 p.m

Run - Snow Patrol

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up...

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads
Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

11:36 p.m

This is the latest I've been up in a long time...weird.

Fridays kick total ass.

Yours...

6:38 p.m

Stayed home from school today...I wasn't skipping, it was totally legit (honest officer) 'cause I woke up feeling like I was about to chuck some major cookies...not that I did, but that's just my crummy luck. It didn't last all day, but I didn't show face at school anyway 'cause it was too much trouble and I needed a mental health day (don't we all?).

So, what did Lena do during her day off from Crime and Punishment High? Well, as that 'War' song goes "Absolutely nothing! (say it again!)" Comp, TV, food, running amok talking to myself, and then a short trip to the biblio for some looooong overdue research, but otherwise abba-so-lute-lee naawwwwwthing. Good 'cause I was completely useless for a while and didn't do any work...bad, because it gives me more than enough time to think myself to death.

One of the many thoughts running through my head today: this whole unrequited love thing with S. I'm not exactly ashamed to say this (though I won't really paste it on a billboard), but I, at almost seventeen, have never kissed a guy. I've LIKED guys, so I know I'm not a lone lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that lifestyle for all the Pride people out there), but I've never really pursued relationships because...I dunno. My infatuation with boys (or men or whatever) was never really based on this whole 'I want to be with them' idea...it was more 'I want to BE them'. Not in an I-was-meant-to-have-a-penis type deal, but is it just me, or are guys just more assertive? Whenever I talk to a girl about my insecurities, she nods sympathetically and goes "I know, it sucks" (I do this all the time...I know, it sucks). But whenever I talk to a guy (like L. or, very infrequently, B.), they go 'Don't think about what other people say and forget about it. Or, if they really piss you off, beat the shit out of them.' I think it's just that girls take things too much to heart, while guys take things head on. I envy that kind of straightforwardness...it's so uncomplicated. Of course, I could be totally wrong about this, in which case, guys do a better job at fronting their self-assuredness, which I also envy.

SEE? THINKING WAY TOO MUCH! DAMMIT LENA!

Yours with undying love...(not really, but it sounds dramatic, non?)

7:43 p.m

Went downtown for some drama workshop crap...totally useless, even for me, but lots of giggles all around...

Met J., M.'s boyfriend, today...I don't particularly like him. I mean, he's nice and all, but he just isn't really my kind of person. Then again it doesn't really matter whether I like him or not 'cause it's not like I'm dating him or anything.

Feeling sad again. Sad and worried. I need to stop doing that.

Anyway, spreading love all around...

Yours...

8:29 p.m

I need to finish A Clockwork Orange by the end of this week or else M. will get my soul. That would really suck.

Fuck. I'm feeling all sad again...no particular reason except that life is really nothing but a cesspool of disappointement and loneliness. But that just might be me being a tad dramatic.

I said 'Hi' to S. today in class and he gave me this really scary, really big, shit-eating grin...it kinda took me off-guard. I feel bad for him 'cause he has so much to do...he seems exhausted, poor guy, despite the maniacal smiling. Job, school, life in general...and he has real courses, not like the stupid English stuff I have.

I got freaked out of my mind the other night...Halloween...because it hit me that October just finished that we are one month closer to graduation...which means we're one month closer to real life and university and rent and taxes and all that crap...fuuuuuuuuuuuck...

Interviewed Mr. S. today for my Opus documentary. Such a funny guy and a great (if slightly disorganized) teacher...you don't get a lot of teachers like Mr. S. who are actually nice and fun and makes you want to think out of the box... not to mention he's a total movie buff, which is super in my eyes...planning on watching Nazi propaganda film tomorrow ... Triumph of the Will by Leni Reifenstahl...

Had a very mind-opening conversation about Reifenstahl, how she was essentially glorifying the Nazis in her movie and how she defended it even way after the end of the war and all the Holocaust stuff leaked out...not to say she's a good person or anything, but THAT is passion...the fact that she stuck by her work even if she knew it was evil...if we all had a passion that was so great that it actually transcended conscience and your sense of good, then everyone would just be happier...of course, without conscience and crap, we'd all probably kill each other, so maybe a bit of common sense should be thrown in there for good measure.

Phone just rang on my desk and I couldn't hear a damn thing...it's the phone, I need to get a new one 'cause this one just doesn't work anymore.

Oh...funny email from SC. A bit of a long read though:

The Science Exam

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was “so profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will >increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell >freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year, “...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only “A” given

It made ME laugh.

Yours...

7:46 p.m

Gah...school sucks total monkey balls.

It was 4:30 before I realized I hadn't eaten anything all day except for half a pancake, a kiwi, and a mini coffee crisp. I was staaaaaaaaaaarving....but then I ate lasagna so I'm good.

I just realized that S is turning out to be another B. I don't think I can deal with that...unrequited love is just...too...hard. Well, 'love' might actually be too strong a word, but I do really like him.....................................oh well and girlish sigh.

I'm screwed for my documentary...I have no idea how I'm going to edit it and crap...not the crapping part, the editing...fawk...

Halloween was kinda boring...candy=good, but too much candy=bad. Mind you, I'm like a fogue when it comes to candy 'cause it hurts my teeth...I really am an old soul (as DK puts it)....

HOLY FUCK! We did the scheduling for the show and I'm so fucking dead with rehearsals...too much organizing...it's bad........

Phil Collins is a bastard....mostly because he stole the Oscar that was so rightfully in the hands of the South Park guys for 'Blame Canada' (M disagrees, but she's a fruity musical theatre-ite anyway)...I heard the story behind 'In the Air Tonight' and got pissed off, even though it's supposedly an urban legend (which actually makes sense even though Mr. M insisted it was a 'true story'). Yeah, so FUCK PHIL COLLINS!

...that was really random.

Ok. Well...

Yours,

Lena