10:06 p.m.

Worst fucking headache ever.

Yours...

D.I.F.G.

4:06 p.m.

How many curbs can I hit in one driving exam?

The answer, darlings, is two.

TWO!

That's right...I failed my driving exam but, if it's any consolation, I did it spectacularly. Let's take it step by step:

1) Backing out of the parking lot seemed pretty ok until I saw a car about to pass and braked too fast (Examiner's comment: "It's ok. Keep going."

2) About to turn out of reverse from backing out of parking lot, I'm about to hit a car. Examiner brakes. (Examiner's comment: "Ok, you were about to hit that car". Me: "Oops.")

3) Drive out to the exit of the parking lot, am told to turn right. Turned too soon, ran over curb. Confusing series of gear shifts. (Examiner's comment: "You know what? Just go straight.")

4) Went straight, told to go in a loop back into the parking lot. Go caught in wrong lane. (Examiner's comment: "*Points to right lane*)

5) Back in parking lot, told to drive into spot, hit the curb again. (Examiner's comment: "Don't forget to stop")

Total time: About five minutes.

Result: Fail

Comment on sheet: "Examination terminated due to safety concerns."

Personally, I blame my driving instruction, SVM, because I didn't realize I was so used to having him constantly resting on the brake until I tried accelerating on my own. I figured out that the gas is actually a lot more sensitive than I thought it was...not to mention the fact that I can't understand half the shit he's saying so I'm going to stop listening to him and start using some common sense.

Needless to say, I never got around to parking and junk. I guess I ought to be a bit more upset, but I'm not because I knew I wasn't going to pass and I knew I'd mess up, but I didn't know HOW BADLY I was going to do it. Actually, I'm kind of glad I messed up so royally 'cause I'd rather do it this way than fail because of some stupid little rule that doesn't really matter.

On the bright side, I am now an official danger on the road. No jokes, doesn't that sound cool?

Hoping not to fail next time though.

Yours...

D.I.F.G.

10:36 p.m.

Mean Girls: A surprisingly good movie. As much as I think Lindsay Lohan is a skank whore who wears way too much self-tanner, I thought it was funny.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: GREAT MOVIE! Loved it so much, Jim Carrey is a great actor
Icannotbelievehedidn'tgetnominatedforanOscar! Brilliant. I was so afraid I was going to be let down 'cause I heard so many good things about it, but it was excellent, excellent, excellent. I mean, Garden State and ESOTSM was on my movie list forever and Garden State was kind of disappointing, but this was a waaaaayyy good movie. Love it. I'm going to buy it on DVD when I don't feel so cheap.

I'm not a good reviewer. Wtv.

Anyway, I've got my driving test on Tuesday! AAAAAAAAHHH! Oh man, I can imagine a billion+ things going wrong. For the record, I foresee myself failing, because I'm dumb and driving is dumb and it's all stupid like donkey pudding. So here's hoping for a NOT fail so I can drive my non-existent cars to non-existent social activities. Whoot for me.

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Yours...

D.I.F.G.

8:47 p.m.

Let's play a little word association game:

Ducks ~> Beavers

Pan ~> Cake

Rage ~> Machines

Jesus dying on the cross ~> Chocolate bunny rabbits

????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Yeah, I just don't get Easter...

I've been pretty blasphemous lately...and by lately, I mean for the past four or five years. It's weird 'cause I'm not exactly a cynical atheist or anything, but I just manage to say the most atrociously offensive things. Take, for example, my assertion that Jesus was, in all likelihood, a confused, probably schizophrenic Yiddish boy with serious paternal issues (son of God? You wish) or, my most extreme exclamation "Jesus God Ass-Fucking Christ!" And I vaguely remember saying something really offensive yesterday, but I forgot what it was (hard to keep up with a mouth as prolific as mine!) I mean, I don't actually MEAN any of these things...it's just that I know a bunch of people who are all Christian and junk and their over-zealous Lord-loving brings out my inner heretic...the weird thing is I immediately regret saying these things after they slip out of my foul mouth...damn, damn, damn conscience.

So yeah, if there is a God, I'm going straight to hell. And not the cushy kind either. The bad, ugly kind where lawyers and confederate red-knecks go. See, there it is again...oh, the bigotry.

So today was useless...I'm going to watch Mean Girls and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind later. Might shoot Bunny tomorrow...don't know, haven't heard from D yet. Dad's turning FIFTY soon, so I'm going to cook a big dinner for his party (I hope everybody likes their food coated in carcinogens! ... I have to remember to take the batteries out of the smoke detector)...otherwise, nothing much happening this Easter weekend on the evil side of the holy spectrum.

Yours...

D.I.F.G.

7:18 p.m.

So I'm happy, yes...more relieved that actually full-out happy, you know? I still have other stuff to worry about...mostly dumb stupid things that won't matter in a few months, but yeah, still stuff.

Ok, so it's HIM. The guy. Fuck him, seriously, mondo to the max. I mean, why do I always devote so much thought and affection to people I really, in truth, don't know that well, certainly who doesn't know me as well as some people. I mean, sure, we're friends, but it's a pretty casual thing. I guess it's the whole peer-pressure, pairing-up thing...but I think about him all the time and I figure, if I can't have him, I'd rather not have his friendship. It sounds selfish but DAMMIT, that's how it's going to be.

I kind of wish now I didn't push L away.

I'm NOT D.I.F.S.L. anymore, ok? I'm D.I.F.G....; ) feel special. I know YOU can't hurt me.

Yours...

D.I.F.G.

7:17 p.m.

I GOT IN! I GOT IN! I GOT IN! I GOT IN!

YORK U! B.F.A. IN FILM PRODUCTION! KICK FUCKING ASS!

WHOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm not going to accept yet, because I'll have to wait and see with Concordia and I just might continue my application for Simon Fraser...

BUT HUGE FUCKING WEIGHT OFF MY CHEST!

I GOT IN!

YOURS!

D.I.F.S.L.!

6:30 p.m.

Turns out the day wasn't fantastic...pretty dull actually. Well, boring-as-fuck would be the more appropriate term but wtv...

I FUCKING HATE ADOBE PREMIERE! AAAAAAAHHHH! I swear to God, I can't edit crap for crap, it's taking forever. Yeah, my movie isn't going to be done for a while. Die, Adobe, die.

In other news, I think I'm starting to like soccer. Don't know why 'cause I haven't caught it on TV since I was in Melbourne, but it's an interesting game, much more fun to watch than boring-as-shit basketball 'cause the ball flies everywhere! Whoo! (yeah, I'm not an expert on sport fanaticism) Browsed the FIFA site for a while, had no idea what the stats meant, but did learn (to much disappointment) that Canada is ranked 85th! Sweet mother, that is so funny it's sad. Turns out us Canadians aren't much good at sport unless it's hockey or curling (but even the Norwegians and Brits beat us at the latter...oh the shame).

I just think soccer is very therapeutic...a lot of kicking and violence without all the gross contact of, say, football or rugby (though I must say, football is quite fun and rugby sure LOOKS like fun). I should've joined the rugby team, but I've only been on a sports team once (volleyball, Grade 8) and it was NOT a pleasant experience...let's leave it at that.

So, now that Canada's out of the running, which team should I support? I don't really care which one or know much about any of them, but I think I ought to support a team so I have a soccer-watching system. My list so far is:

-Australia
-Portugal
-Brazil
-Argentina
-Spain
-England

I'll narrow it down later.

Yours...

D.I.F.S.L.

7:23 a.m.

WHY THE HELL AM I UP SO FREAKING EARLY?

Oh right, I'm a loser...

Yesterday was a good day. Not too sure why. Maybe 'cause SPRING IS IN THE AIR! Ah! It's looking good today too...let's just see what happens when I get to school.

Yours...

D.I.F.S.L.

10:15 p.m.

Filmming was fun. Awkward as hell 'cause I spent the afternoon in a stranger's house (I came half an hour early and D. wasn't there so it was just me and D's friend, DS, for one bloody hour...goddamn, was that awkward). But otherwise, all went very well. I'm glad.

A thought that has been tickling my head for a bit now: DS looks awfully familiar...I could've sworn I've seen him somewhere before. Then again, that could've been because he's white and you know how all white people look pretty much the same....lol, jks.

HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN - by The Beatles

She's not a girl who misses much
do do do do do do...oh yeah
She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand
Like a lizard on a window pane
The man in the crowd with the multi-coloured mirrors on his hobnail boots
Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working over time
A soap impression of his wife which he ate and donated to the national trust

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down
Down to the bits that I left uptown
I need a fix 'cause I'm going down...

Mother Superior jumped the gun...
Mother Superior jumped the gun...
Mother Superior jumped the gun...
Mother Superior jumped the gun...
Mother Superior jumped the gun...
Mother Superior jumped the gun...

Happiness is a warm gun (bang bang shoot shoot)
Happiness is a warm gun, mama (bang bang shoot shoot)
When I hold you in my arms
And I feel my finger on your trigger
I know nobody can do me no harm
Because (happiness)...is a warm gun mama (bang bang shoot shoot)
Happiness is a warm gun, yes it is (bang bang shoot shoot)
Happiness is a warm...yes it is...guuuuuuuuuuunnnnnn! (Bang bang shoot shoot)

Yours...

9:47 p.m.

Fuck homework. Fuck, fuck, FUCK homework. Homework is for suckers, for losers, for losers who suck and suckers who lose. FUCK HOMEWORK.

But YAY March Break. It's almost over...too bad...and I have to do a gillion billion things, especially for fuck ass French and fuck ass Philosophie...I dread going back, it's like cleaning your feet just to walk barefoot in dog shit if that makes any sense. Btw, FUCK HOMEWORK and FUCK SCHOOL.

However, good news is tomorrow 'Bunny' starts filmming. I'm excited, yet nervous, nervous, nervous about meeting the cast...I'm not good with new people, if my entry last Friday/Saturday proved anything. AAAAAAAAAAAAh! What if they hate me? What if I hate them? What if our mutual hate totatlly destroys the movie and Ms. L. will be like "Lena, you should've done something less complicated because your movie SUCKS!" That would be so awful.

And, of course, I'm worried that I might not get into York. I thought that after the interview I would stop worrying 'cause everything's out of my hand, but now I'm worrying even MORE. I mean, I can just imagine the letter:

Dear Miss Duong,

We regret to inform you that, although we are impressed with your package and interview, the admissions team does not feel that York is right for you.

We strongly advise you apply a second time.

Sincerely,

Ms. Whatever

or

Dear Miss Duong,

CONGRATULATIONS! You have been wait-listed!

Should a space become available, we'll let you know!

Sincerely,
Mr. Whatever

or

Miss Duong:

You suck. You're going to be a second-rate failure in life. Please don't bother us with your lame attempts ever again. We strongly advise you to visit your local McDonald's and apply there because that is the only industry in which you can't possibly fail.

Looking forward to future drive-thru visits,

Mr./Mrs./Ms. Whatever

AhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

...think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts,thinkhappythoughts

Yours...

10:45 p.m.

List of super-duper great songs:

"Happiness is a Warm Gun" by the Beatles
"Helter-Skelter" by the Beatles
"Pale Blue Eyes" by Velvet Underground
"Dream On" by Aerosmith
"Run" by Snow Patrol
"Angels and Devils" by Dishwalla
"Heroin" by Velvet Underground
"Hey Jude" by the Beatles
"Is this it?" by the Strokes
"This Mess We're In" by Radiohead feat. PJ Harvey
"No Surprises" by Radiohead
"Fifth Symphony" by L. v. Beethoven
"Quasi una fantasia (Moonlight Sonata)" by L. v. Beethoven
"The Hurricane" by Bob Dylan
"She's the Blade" by Sugarcult
"Another Brick in the Wall" (?) by Pink Floyd
"The Seeker" by the Who
"It's All Been Done" by the Barenaked Ladies
"Requiem" by W.A. Mozart
"Not Enough" by Our Lady Peace
"Notorious" by Duran Duran
"My Sharona" by the Knack
"Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd
"Last Night" by the Strokes (actually, all of Is This It kicks considerable ass)
"88" by Sum 41
"Jump in the Line" by Harry Belafonte
"Blue Velvet" by Bobby Vinton or Jackie Gleason wtv.
"Everloving" by Moby
"Something in the Way" by Nirvana
"Son of a Preacher Man" by Dusty Springfield (I prefer her version)
"Spooky" by Dusty Springfield
"4 a.m." by Our Lady Peace
"I Told Every Little Star" by Linda Scott
"97 Bonnie and Clyde" by Eminem
"Tell Laura I Love Her" by Ray Peterson (so bad, it's good)
"Mystery Girl" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"No No No" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"Tuesday's Gone" by Metallica (cover of Lynard Skynard)
"In My Place" by Coldplay (overplayed, but wtv)
"Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles
"Down by the Water" by PJ Harvey
"America" by Simon and Garfunkel
"Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel
"Get Free" by the Hives (or is it the Vines? I always get them confused...maybe it's the "the" thing)
"Hallelujah" by Rufus Wainwright (covering some other dude)
"I Can't Help (Falling in Love with You)" by Elvis Presley
"Baby Love" by the Supremes

Etc. etc...I'll add more when I think of them.

Yours...

10:26 p.m.

Wow. It's sad when people stop blogging. I mean, it's sad in the sense that they're leaving...and people leaving is usually a sad thing, unless said people are really annoying, in which case, good fucking riddance, you know?

Bye Inari. Come back soon.

So anyway, fucking blogger didn't post the post I posted a few hours ago 'cause it's gone fucking postal apparently. I would re-type it except I don't remember what I typed, so new post it is.

I love March Break. March Break kicks ass. Not only does it kick ass, it stomps on the ass and makes mash. THAT'S right. I'm still a little bummed about yesterday, but after today's not-doing-anything-then-taking-a-two-hour nap, I'm pretty good. Actually, not doing anything is a lie. I had a driving lesson with SVM and a piano lesson. Driving lessons are killing me...I could just feel some vessels burst as fucking annoying driving instructor kept talking. DIE! DIE! DIE!

Speaking of death, I think the main reason I was so bummed about yesterday (aside from the whole whether or not I'll get accepted, either by the university or the classmates, thing) is that the 'exemplary' student films they showed to, you know, show off for the prospective students...well, they kind of sucked. And a lot of them had to do with death, which made them suckily depressing. Well, not all of them. Some were pretty good, some were funny, and some resonated with meaning. But some were just total crap. I hate to say this (actually, no, I love saying this), but I think girls make total crap filmmakers. This is, of course, a generalization that I don't really believe is a blanket statement, but yeah, girls suck. They're too bent on trying to be "deep" and tend to make these experimental shorts that are kind of pretty to look at for five minutes or so, but then you're like "enough with the symbolism, where's the fucking POINT?" Yeah, those annoyed me.

Anyway, this post probably made no sense to anybody who wasn't at the York U Film and Video interview dates...so BLAH and have a nice whatever until I post again.

Yours...

7:52 p.m.

My favourite shirt is this mustard-coloured collared shirt that I got at Old Navy a couple of years ago. I don't know why I like it so much because it doesn't really flatter my skin tone or look particularly pretty...but I like it anyhow.

Anyway, I've been trying to find another shirt like it, but maybe in a different colour, but I have no idea what it's called. I mean, 'shirt' is pretty vague right? I'm thinking maybe it's like a rugger without the stripes. Hmmm...

March Break is so far not bad. I just woke up from a two hour nap and I haven't really done anything today. I find that when I have nothing to do, I do nothing. That is, aside from going on the comp, watching really crap daytime TV, and eat. Which is why staying at home is a death trap for me unless I spend a good portion of the day down at the ravine trying to catch a rabbit.

I'm actually starting to hate this FUCKING SNOW. When I got home from Vietnam, I was ready to just fall into winter and give it a big wet kiss...but now it's starting to piss me off. I mean, I can't ride my bike, I can't go down to the ravine without risking my toes, I can't do shit for shit outside 'cause OH NO, I can't fucking drive. Fuck.

Yeah, another driving lesson today. I was cursing under my breath like a mad cow, fucking SVM being the most annoying thing alive aside from Lindsay Lohan and the general mosquitoe population.

I figured out the problem with all the other regimens I concocted to get myself to eat better: they were all too complicated. The only thing I've managed to change is the drinking water thing...I drink water like crazy, all the time, even when I'm not thirsty, and I have to pee every forty minutes or so. But see, 'drink water' is simple. 'Eat smaller but more frequent meals' is not. How the hell am I supposed to time my meals? Hell, I'd forget to half of them, then I'd have to eat a big meal to compensate. And fuck the 'planning meals beforehand'. Ok, simple solution: eat more vegetables. Actually, just eat vegetables. And maybe fruits. Everything else doesn't matter, so long as it's green and/or leafy and/or cultivated from dirt.

Yum.

Yours...

10:06 p.m.

Ok, so I think my interview went fairly well. The interviewers weren't intimidating or anything, they were quite nice. Still don't know if I made it in, but I hope I did. However, what worries me more is that I will get in and suffer horribly for several months.

It was all in the waiting room. Some people make friends really easily and can socialize without having to go through a lot of trouble...but not me. I mean, I tried to squeeze into a conversation, but then I got shunted out pretty easily. Also, they had this thing that whenever someone was called into an interview, everyone in the room would applaud. No one applauded when I got called it. That hurt. I'm getting hurt quite a bit these days.

: _ (

That's a tear running down my face btw. Yeah, I'm so pathetic. I actually had a breakdown imagining the situation...that is to say, me in a class full of people who hate me. I mean, my current best friends are only my good friends 'cause they've known me for seven years...one of them even said she used to think I was a bitch until she realized that it was just my insanity that repelled people.

I started to really appreciate my friends. Yeah, they hurt me too and I complain about them a lot, but once they're gone, I'm going to miss them like crazy just 'cause I'm not going to talk to anybody for months if I get into the program. I remember when I changed schools in grade five...eight months of that school year was pure hell.

Can somebody tell me how to make friends?

Yours...

3:48 p.m.

So, what started as a relatively happy day has suddenly gone on a downbeat.

I made my portfolios, I sent them off, I'm going out with friends tonight, and I'm all excited about my interview at York tomorrow...yet, I feel extremely sad. The really frustrating thing is that I can't blame anyone but myself. This sucks.

I wish I didn't want anything. I wish I could be satisfied with what I already have instead of WANTING what I know I can never have. While I was in Vietnam, I told myself that once I got back to Canada, I was going to stop wanting this one thing because, if I didn't, I was going to end up killing myself. So I distanced myself from it, because it hurt so much to see it everyday and realize that it was always going to be out of my reach. And so far I've been successful. Until today.

Today, all the want that I had been trying to surpress for so long just came flooding back. It hurt. I have this big mish mash of feelings, mostly envy because she has everything and she doesn't know it, frustration because she doesn't deserve to be hated because she is such an infuriatingly good person and it sickens me that I sometimes find myself hating her, sadness because he has no idea how much his kindness hurts me, and regret because I know that had I done things differently two years ago, things could've been different.

I'm going to sigh now, because it's almost over anyway and in a few months time, none of this is going to matter.

Wish me luck during my university interview.

Yours...

5:44 p.m.

Should I go to the prom?

I don't know...maybe I should. But maybe I shouldn't. I'm not going to lie: there is some part of me that thinks I should go. That WANTS to go. But then there's another part of me that's thinking: what's the point? You're going to have a miserable time. You're going to feel ugly. You're going to be alone.

Ah, there's the rub...it's all in the date thing. I know you don't HAVE to have a date, that it doesn't matter if you come with someone or not. But, in the end, it's going to matter and all of my close friends are going to have one. M. is going to have one. K. is going to have one. If D. goes, she's going to have one. And while it's fine and dandy for THEM to say "Who cares if you don't have a date?", I'm going to sit there and think "Well, I care." I don't want to be the only loner, you know?

Well, let's put prom in the 'maybe' pile. It seems so far away.

You know what's NOT far away? MARCH BREAK! WHOOT! No school for a week, that's AWWWWWWEEEESOOOOOMMMME! Oh man, I am so sick of school. Especially French (btw, Mr. A. asked my name TWICE today...loony doesn't even know my name yet grrrr...).

Oh, and in other news, our play made it to Regionals! I'm actually quite pleased...I didn't expect to be 'cause I wanted the whole thing to end and be over and done with. But now...I'm kinda glad we moved on. For one thing, we get to go to Hart House, which is really gorgeous and has the coolest backstage in the world. Second, I might get to see Huron Heights do their show which (as usual) is supposed to be AMAZING! My God, I know they're competition and everything, but I can't help be in awe of them. I've never seen any of their shows, but apparently the acting is always superb. We'll see :)

M. had her Sheradon audition on Sunday...I know she'll make it, but even so, I don't want to hear about it. Happy as I'll be when her acceptance comes, I don't want to hear about any acceptances until I get accepted somewhere. FUCK! DAMN UNIVERSITY! Why am I even bothering with post-secondary education anyway? I'm just going to end up some bum on the street scrounging for crumbs in a Tim Hortons' garbage can anyway. But maybe I'm just being a pessimist.

Yes, that's it.

Anyway, I gotta get ready to beat the crap out of Gareth.

Yours...

5:30 p.m.

God, I love the Daily Show. Funniest thing on TV (or internet, as in my case). STEPHEN COLBERT IS MY GOD if only for the 'This Week in God' segments (or, you know, whoever writes the material). Hahahahahahaaaa.

Anyway, so what did Lena do today? Ummm...hmmm...about completely botching a test? THAT's right, that Mariage de Figaro test was shit in a can. Not only did I not know what the hell I was talking about, but I completely MASSACRED the French language. Well, that's what you have to expect from a maudit anglais like me...misused tenses and beaucoup d'anglicisme dans le writing of le French.

My friends thought I was on crack today 'cause I was laughing and all happy...am I really that depressing? As far as I can remember, I've always laughed hysterically at the most importune moments.

Silly people.

Anyway, now it's quiz time.

Quiz à la Moi

Full name: Lena D.

DOB: November 10, 1987

Sex: Female

Sign: Scorpio

Favourite food: Eggo waffles

What are you listening to right now?: Billie Jean by Michael Jackson

Last movie you saw in the theatre?: The Incredibles

Last person you saw?: Mum

Last person you called?: I don't call people. Phones freak me out.

If you could change your name, what would it be?: Pretty Van Fantastic or Jo Mamma! (exclamation mark included)

If you could have a bare-knuckled fist fight with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?: I'm going to say either Avril Lavigne, K., or anyone who reads my blog. (HEY! This question was in Fight Club wasn't it?)

If you could exterminate any animal in the world, what would it be and why?: MOSQUITOES! Useless, filthy, west-nile spreading vermin...oh, and dolphins, 'cause you KNOW they're just waiting to take over.

Would you rather:

Eat a human baby or a live hedgehog?: Hedgehog, definitely...babies are to gamey.

Swim naked in Lake Ontario in midwinter for three hours or in a basin of potentially radioactive waste for three minutes?: Tricky, tricky, tricky...either way, I'm going to be mutated in some way, but the radioactive waste would probably be less painful.

Make out with Richard Nixon or with Richard Simmons?: Simmons! Oh my God, that sexy red hair...raaaiow!

Ask a question, any question?: Why is there a question mark at the end of this sentence? It's not question...or is it? (Damn, that's two...wtv).

Yours...

6:09 p.m.

BOOM shaka laka shaka laka shaka laka shaka BOOM BOOM shaka laka shaka laka...

Bored as a pair of fetid dingo's kidneys (HHGTTG coming out soon!). Have such crap work to do for Le mariage de Figaro. DAMN!

Yours...

4:29 p.m.

To post or not to post...that is the question. I find that my entries are really pointless and come out of sheer nothing-better-to-do-ness. Oh well.

I finished my letter of intent. It only took a billion hours to start, because I'm such a slacker. One down, two to go. Yuck. It's really a piece of shit, but I'm sending it in anyway 'cause gawd knows I don't ever want to see it again.

Had a driving lesson. Stinky Vietnamese Man (SVM) keep grabbing the wheel and tapping my shoulder "LOOK HERE! LOOK LEFT! NOW, LEFT!" Fucking hell. Maybe it's me, but I don't like being repeatedly tapped or jabbed. I started speeding and braking hard just to piss him off. A few more lessons with him and I just might be the most aggressive driver in the world. Whoot to me.

I hate school sooooo much. It's a good thing March Break starts after next week. I'm shooting 'Bunny' in that time. Btw, has anybody ever been beaten to death by a 13 lbs. frozen rabbit? I wonder.

Red Rave tastes just like Red Bull (i.e. crappy), but I'm hopped up on it. GOD BLESS CAFFEINE! I wonder why it's called RED Rave, because it isn't red, it's this sickly yellowish colour. Hmmmmm....

Anyway, Sundays are boring.

Yours...

WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE! YELLOW SUBMARINE! YELLOW SUBMARINE! WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE! YELLOW SUBMARINE! YELLOW SUBMARINE!

7:23 p.m.

Ok....good news, bad news...I got an email from York U saying they were 'sufficiently impressed' by the package I sent them and are now requesting an interview. So yay! 'cause I was beginning to think they had forgotten. But, as for the bad news, I still have to send in my junk for Concordia, which sucks mondo wang.

Ugh, I have to read Le mariage de Figaro in time for the test on Tuesday and I am so majorly fucked up for that class. I HATE FRENCH! I CAN'T STAND IT! IT'S TOO HARD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Anyway, it's M.'s birthday on Monday...she's turning the big 1-8 so I'm going to make fun of her for being a crippling fogue. I got her 'American Idiot', of which I heard good things though I haven't listened through the whole thing. I'm hoping she doesn't have it 'cause otherwise I've just wasted $13.99 (though I figure I could always keep it and see if it's any good).

I haven't bought a CD in months. I think the last CD I got was 'Chuck' which is ok for a Sum album, not outstanding like 'Is this it' by the Strokes (excellent stuff that...too bad their second album wasn't as good). Don't know why I'm rambling about this, maybe it's cause I just read Gareth's blog.

Anyhoo, some CDs I might buy if I don't feel too cheap:
- Any and all Beatles' album (particularly White Album)
-Andy Warhol by Velvet Underground (or is it Velvet Underground by Velvet Underground? I forget which one...anyway, I want the one with Pale Blue Eyes)
-The Raven by Lou Reed
-Strange Little Girls by Tori Amos (she does a better '97 Bonnie and Clyde than Eminem)
-Garden State soundtrack
-Donnie Darko soundtrack
-The Wall by Pink Floyd
-Nevermind by Nirvana
-Clumsy by Our Lady Peace
-Mulholland Drive soundtrack

...I can't think of anything else.

For my movie list, however, I want to add:
-Supersize Me
-The Saddest Music in the World
-Laurel Canyon
-The Jacket
-Sin City
-Serpico
-Four Rooms (even though I heard it sucked...except for one segment)
-The Corpse Bride
-Team America
-Vertigo/Rear Window/the original Psycho/Rebecca
-The Graduate
-Dr. Strangelove

my, I'm list-y today.

Yours...

5:26 p.m.

This is a joke I heard from D. which I thought was pretty funny:

George Bush is visiting the Queen at Buckingham palace and asks her: "How do you get people to respect you so?"

The Queen replies: "Why, I surround myself with smart people, Mr. Bush."

As an example, she rings up Tony Blair and asks him: "If your mother has a son and your father has a son and you have no brother, who is the child?"

Tony Blair replies: "Why me, of course."

Bush, deeply impressed, goes back to Washington and asks Dick Cheney: "If your mother has a son and your father has a son and you have no brother, who is the child?"

Dick Cheney replies: "Hmmm...that's a toughie. Give me a minute..." and promptly left the room to think.

Bush then goes to Colin Powell, and asks the same question. Colin Powell answers "It's me, of course."

Dick Cheney runs into the room and shouts "I know! I know! It's Colin Powell."

Bush laughs and shakes his head.

"No, you're both wrong. It's Tony Blair!"


I thought that was pretty funny.

Yours...

9:15 p.m.

Tomorrow is the big show day! YAY! Our play is going to go in competition with a bunch of other schools and hopefully, we will kick substantial ass.

Wish Trudeau Theatrics luck!

Here's a list of movies I want to see:
-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
-Napoleon Dynamite
-Door to Door
-Face/Off (any good?)
-Casablanca
-El Crimen del Padre Amaro (Sp?)
-Whale Rider
-Million Dollar Baby
-Millions (DANNY BOYLE!)
-Dodgeball
-Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle
-Spinal Tap

among others that will come later...

Yours...

8:47 p.m.

SHAKE YA ASS! WATCH YOURSELF! SHAKE YA ASS! SHOW ME WHATCHA WORKIN' WITH!

Lazy, crazy, hazy days....actually, not really. Mr. A. was not in French today so M. and I did not do our day-late presentation but wtv...he'd better be there tomorrow seeing as we're not there Thursday.

I'm trying to figure out what the FUCK existentialism is. I mean, I think I have it figured out, but HOLY CRAPFACE, would it hurt a philosopher to use, I don't know, clear language for once? Just once? Would it kill you, fucking Sartre (though you're already dead...I think) to make sense, to write a sentence which, when read, will result in a "Oh, I know exactly what he's talking about" instead of a "I'm not entirely sure that means anything". I hate philosophy. I'm not becoming a philosopher. I'm not going to ever study philosophy ever again. As of this point...right...NOW.

Anyway....school sucks, as usual. Tuesdays are slightly better than Mondays on account of it being the day before Hump Day (as in Wednesday, as in the big hump at the top of the hill of the week, as opposed to the extremely friendly humping...nvm).

M. and I were talking about what makes a person tolerable and intolerable today. That's just a nice way of saying we were talking behind people's back, which I know is an awful thing to do, but it's just harmless catharsis to me. Basically, we agreed that being SUPER ANNOYING is a BAD thing (like this girl in my art class who happens to have my name, which I hate, but is also extremely loud and irritating). Also, having no loyalty is a bad thing, as is being manipulative, scheming, get-out-of-my-way-or-I'll-push-you bitch. On the subject of honesty however, we differed:

M. prefers people who speak their mind, who don't bullshit, who are willing to put in their two cents and contribute to the discussion. She likes to argue with people and thinks this is a sign of honesty. I, on the other hand, will avoid arguments like the plague. I don't like arguing with people and I don't really care to know their opinions unless I ask them. I'm more of a 'agree-to-disagree' kind of person, mostly because I can't stand being in a conversation for more than five or so minutes (unless it jumps from topic to random topic), but also because I CAN'T ARGUE. On paper, all's good because I have time to make it articulate, but when I'm actually talking to people and get caught up in emotion, I end up looking like some freak who keeps saying the same things over and over and OVER. Also, I have a horrible memory so I usually end up contradicting myself and then forgetting what the hell I was talking about in the first place.

So yeah, I'm not much of a people person, which is not a good thing because, dammit, there are so many people in the world, what am I going to do?

If anyone can give me a really dumbed-down definition of existentialism, that would be greatly appreciated. I'd like to know I'm on the right track.

Yours...